Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
