I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
