I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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