She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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