Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize