what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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