If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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