Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
