I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
