yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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