This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
