Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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