She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
