So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize