Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
