I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
