What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
