She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
