I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize