you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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