Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
