Just fell off a train. Bad.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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