And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
