Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
