Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
