i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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