so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
