There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
