i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
