I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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