1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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