I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
