can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
