What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
