I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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