I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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