Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
