your parents love me but you hate me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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