I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
