Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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