At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
