Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
