I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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