these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
