You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
