is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
