I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
