I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
