HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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