You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize