best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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