The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize