it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
