9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize