Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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