I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
