I think I am morally bankrupt
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
