i just wanna soil my oats bro
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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