I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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